Everybody makes mistakes and goes through bad times, it’s a given. If you believe some people around you do not when you naturally compare your life to others, either they are really good at hiding it, or simply their ‘bad time’ or ‘mistake’ has not come yet. Either way it really common and all of us will experience these negative times. I personally have had many of these moments in life, however, I’m writing this post not mainly as result of myself but because many who are close to me have been either struggling mentally and/or have made what they believe are ‘mistakes’ very recently. So if you reading this are going through a tough time, let me just say, it’s going to be okay. I’ve witnessed it all firsthand from the perspective of a supporter, but have also experienced some negativity and mistake making myself.
Everyone messes up sometimes but hating others or hating yourself will get you nowhere.
To avoid all of this self-loathing and bitterness towards others, you need to ask why do you feel this way? Or why did you make the mistake? Often you will find that it is not the fault of others or even the fact that you are awful person. It is often just natural human carelessness or strong emotions (even subconscious emotions) that can cause problems. So you should look inwards at yourself and ask why you have gotten to this position. By looking this way and trying to understand yourself you probably will not hate yourself or hate others. Negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and frustration will certainly exacerbate the issues too. So in other words, time is crucial. Give yourself time to process things, and take care of yourself during the process.
Think of all of the good you have done and felt. Think of all of the goodness you have felt.
It’s hard to think this way, obviously. But remember that one bad time or mistake will not define you, rather all of the good things about you are more important. Unless you’re a genuinely malicious person who intentionally hurts others and causes problems, bad moments will not define you. So sit back and think, what are all of the good things you have done in life or what have you achieved so far? Write it all down, I’m sure it’s quite lenghty! Also then think about all of the times you’ve experienced happiness, and remind yourself you will experience happiness again. Everything is temporary after all.
Talk to people.
I find that difficult times are great at bringing people together. It allows us to talk openly and honestly and allows people to support you. Their perspective and opinion is also key. They will be able to offer you advice and help you move forward. Being around those who love and care for people will remind you of all the good you have in your life, and by talking to these people you will also prevent the dreaded ‘bottling up’ action that many of us do. By letting it all out you will feel a lot let stressed.
Once you feel comfortable, it’s time to start moving forward. But you must remember that things can often take time to move forward. Good things come to those who wait. As long as you continue moving forward and acting positively and constructively you will improve, you cannot go wrong.
What makes you happy? Make sure not to neglect these things. It’s hard to feel comfortable doing nice things when you feel guilt for doing something wrong or feel very down, however it is important to take care of yourself. Whether it is pampering yourself, staying cosy in your home, exercise, socialising with friends or even partaking in your favourite hobby. By taking care of yourself, it will lessen the stress and burden that is already hanging on your shoulders.
It is all okay, we learn from these experiences.
What you will probably find is that after all of this negativity blows over, you will come out as an even better person. Of course, it’s not a given that you will not experience anything like this ever again, but you will most likely be better equipped to deal with it, and if you experience a time that is more severely challenging, you will be able to get through. What is crucial is that you keep moving forward and you are always trying to improve yourself.
Don’t half-ass your life, but also take care of yourself during the journey <3